In the midst of our morning routine my younger daughter, H, noticed her goldfish was swimming happily around in his bowl. She remarked how surprised she was that it was still alive. A year and a half ago she had a dozen or so, all unwitting subjects of her science fair project. (Which, mommy must brag, after numerous revisions finally resulted in a Second Place at Regional’s.) They each passed on from natural causes, one by one, except for this little guy, persistent in his survival.
If you read Pharyngula or my friend Jay’s blog, Freethinking for Dummies, you may have encountered the recent story about a pastor who scoped 200 fish out of a tank and threw them onto the ground, in his effort to make a bizarre point about salvation. He made sure the students watching understood that these feeder fish were only worth fifteen cents.
I relayed this story to H. Her response was perfect. “Well, of course the kids would pick up the fish and try to save them, Mom! The fish have to be dealt with right now! Seriously, how many of their friends are going to die and go to hell in the time it takes to save the poor fishes from suffocation?”
I told her that some of the people who had heard the story thought the students would be upset and perhaps it would make them question other things the pastor said and did. She said, “Yea. I don’t think adults always realize kids my age can think for themselves. And what I think is that pastor should be arrested for cruelty to animals!”
Later, I heard her grumbling. I asked her what was the matter and she said growled, “And what does the cost of the fish have to do with anything?!”
I don’t think the point was lost on her at all. Hopefully the children who witnessed this will come out of shock and share a similar reaction.
The way she tilted her head up to gaze into the face of her fiancé repulsed me.
Not a very nice sentiment, I realize, but this is the impression I am left with. I finally met David’s fiancé but I had to throw them an Engagement party to get the opportunity. In our circle of friends, we didn’t know she even existed before last Thanksgiving, but even then it was obvious to the one or two people who knew they had gotten together that this relationship was on a rocket-speed trajectory. They met, and they decided to get married. It was ‘ordained by God.’
Let me come back, then, to the first sentence of this post. The way she tilted her head up to gaze into the face of her fiancé repulsed me. I’ve seen that look before, the one where a woman looks up into the face of her spouse in silent, rapt attention as he engages in a conversation. But never in anyone under eighty years old. I realize she had never met the people attending her party before, but she could have spoken for herself. At the very least, she could have made sounds in agreement with David. A ‘yes’ or an occasional ‘uh huh’ would have sufficed. We all were waiting to hear about her. Everyone wanted the details of their whirlwind courtship, and would have loved to hear it from her mouth. But she remained silent in words and allowed her eyes to say, “Ask him. He will speak for me.”
I do not believe this comes from a fundamental shyness. What struck me as so odd, and so nauseating, was it appeared to me that she was acting in deference. Her entire attitude– the turn of her eye, the slant of her head, the angle of her body in the chair–spoke to her contented submission to her man. David had mentioned once that she was a perfect Proverbs 31 woman, and I had no idea what that meant. I only knew if he was judging a woman based on the Old Testament, it could not possibly be flattering to me.
After the party, I was so struck by her behavior that I looked it up. I was not too surprised to find a whole industry devoted to Proverbs 31 women—books,websites, blogs, sermons galore,public speakers for hire. It’s a verse cherished by those Prairie Homeschooling Christians.
Which reminds me where I have seen that look before: on the face of the Michelle Duggar.
10[a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants. 16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
So far the Washington Post (my homepage, daily read -er, skim- and local paper), the blogosphere and Facebook have ignored today as the National Day of Prayer. But I can’t.
This video is without a doubt one of the scariest things I have seen in a long time. But want to see something scarier? Go to the National Day of Prayer Task Force’s website. Click around a bit, if you can stomach it, and you will find this:
“Prayer = Love
Prayer works in the context of relationship. Once the relationship is established, you will find that prayer is its natural expression. It is simply speaking and listening to your Heavenly Father. God wants to answer our prayers. Answered prayer is how He manifests Himself in our life and makes this relationship personal “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” Prayer is the intimacy that flows spontaneously from a loving relationship.”
Then it gets worse.
“Have you found that prayer does not work for you? Perhaps you need to start with the relationship. Click here to learn how”
The link takes you to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association website.
So let’s review:
Our Government wants us to pray to avoid cataclysm (as suggested by that ridiculous video.)
We should all to it today.
Prayers aren’t working? Oh Noes! Your relationship is wrong!
You have to be an Evangelical (Fundagelical) Christian first! Here, go let Billy Graham show you how to do it right!
I’d never heard of Steven Furtick until today. Turns out he’s another soul-patched, all-black-wearing, mega-church pastor schlocking his wares to churches across the country. And, true to form, some of my Southern Baptist friends are eating it up.
He’s selling a kit to “take your church through the journey of discovering a faith that believes for the impossible.” (Bonus children’s curriculum DVD included!) His premise is if we believe hard enough, the sun will defy the laws of nature and stand still, giving us enough time to adequately slaughter our enemies. The premise of stopping the sun comes from The Old Testament Book of Joshua :
So the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, till the nation avenged itself on its enemies, as it is written in the Book of Jashar. The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. Josh 10:13 NIV
My friend, JoAnn, who is so pumped up about Furtick’s message, thinks there is scientific proof that the sun did stand still for one day. Of course, she can’t tell me where this proof is, and none of the websites connected to the book I looked at mentioned it. (Nor the fact that, although I am no astronomer, I know that the earth would have had to stand still, not the sun—something I have yet to see mentioned.) I didn’t read all of Amazon’s has 281 customer reviews, but none of the ones I did mentioned science at all. Most of them made the book sound like The Secret for Christians. Pray for BIG STUFF! God will give it to you!
It’s hilarious how Christians claim one thing in the Old Testament to be absolutely true as written, but as soon as you point out the parts where god smashes children on rocks, or orders a genocide, or tells a king to rape someone else’s wife, well…
I have a discussion going on my Facebook page. What started as an innocent post about my difficulties as a parent explaining the celebratory attitude about the death of Bin Laden became a debate about the existence of Evil.
I had one comment that struck me, but I completely ignored it on my page.
“I find this interesting because I have found that most atheists believe in Good and Evil because of overwhelming proof that it exists. Because those that believe that this life is all that they have, it’s the only measure that they have. What is done in this life. My father, as an Atheist, only believed in Good and Evil.”
I didn’t address it, but I think it is a misconception of atheism. At least, of my atheism. The person who posted this seems to be forcing atheists to accept a cosmic force, but not to call it god. Capitalizing the words good and evil, and then saying he knows someone who believes like this, who he claims is an atheist, looks like a trap. Good and evil actions exist. We have proof of those. How do you prove Good as a concept and Evil as a concept? I imagine this is a debate for philosophers, not for Facebook.
I tried to keep the “Does Evil exist” thread alive without it resulting in a discussion about religion.
…Because I am going to freak out when someone says Fundamentalist Islam is Evil.
I saw the Breaking News Flash on the screen of my computer. The President was to speak at 10:30 on an undisclosed subject? What? It was 10:20 and I saw the light still on in M’s room, so I went in. As I was explaining the unusualness of the President requesting air time late on a Sunday night, my younger daughter padded in. “Have we been contacted by aliens?” she asked.
“Oh, how exciting that would be!” I answered. “But extremely not likely.”
We only had to watch the television a few minutes to find out what had happened. Both of the girls knew the name Bin Laden and knew he was connected to the attacks of September 11. Growing up in a town that is referred to as a bedroom community for the Pentagon, both have friends who lost parents that day. But neither understood what the fuss was about.
I tried my best. I really did. I talked about leadership and the power of personality beyond just strategy. I talked about symbolism, revenge, and retaliation, and yes, justice. We talked about “Mission Accomplished” and yellow cake in a State of the Union address. We talked about all the people we know who serve in the military, and what that means to their families, our government and our economy. We talked about feeling safe, and how the rest of the world looks at us and at our culture.
M thought Bin Laden would be better to us alive. I agreed, but told her after 10 years of alluding capture, it probably an impossibility to take him anyway but dead, either by our hand or his.
H wanted to know if her dad will be safe flying home from California.
Neither thought it was appropriate to be happy about the death of someone, but both thought it would be cool to drive to the White House and watch the celebrating.
I guess I’m pretty happy with that response, all things considered.
Perhaps there is a god! I experienced an event so monumental today I can do nothing but give glory to a supreme being.
On Friday I had a birthday. (Please don’t wish me well—at my age, I am ignoring them. Thank you.) The significance of this revelation to you is on that day my driver’s license expired. Not a problem, next Wednesday I knew I would be free all day to sit in the DMV to renew it. We have until the end of our birth month, right? Wrong! The law, unbeknownst to me, has changed. Wait one single day after your birthday and you are driving without a license.
I am a product of this modern age, and not wanting to wait too long today I checked the DMV website before I left. It was then that I discovered my mistake. Discouraged and a little freaked out by the fact I had been breaking the law for four days, I went into our safe drawer and gathered up every bit of documentation I could find proving I was a real, live, flesh and blood American, and I left.
This is when I experienced divine intervention. Twenty minutes later I had a piece of paper stating my new license would be mailed in five days. God or An Efficiently Modern System of State Recordkeeping? You decide.
I thank Jay Walker, my blogfriend, for pointing out in the comments in yesterday’s post the adaptation that happens when a person is submerged by a culture. As I continue to read The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University by Kevin Roose, the author discusses how much his mental state is effected by his complete immersion into fundamentalism at Liberty University. In the chapter “Near in Their Mouth, But Far from Their Mind,” Roose visits his cousin Beirne in DC. He desperately needs a break, and though he only spends one weekend with her, he is surprised by how hard transitioning back to his normal secular life is.
The students that Roose lives among are completely convinced their religion is right, beneficial and of vast importance. They question constantly, but not if the premise is correct, but whether they are “doing it right.” One student, Paul, becomes saved again because he was never really sure the first time was real, in spite of the fact he behaved like the average Liberty Student: attending church, praying, reading his bible and evangelizing.
The book leads me to believe there is not a lot you can say to someone who is enveloped in this lifestyle to get them to see outside their worldview. Their windows look out onto a landscape that has been painted onto a brick wall. We can, however, help our children and those who haven’t immersed themselves see the world through clear glass. My wish would be for all students to learn about world religions as intensively as any other history theme. And Spotting Logical Fallacies should be a required class in every high school.
Last week was spring break. We stayed home, and having my kids around all the time made it hard to post. (I’m trying to keep this anonymous, remember.) So I did a lot of reading instead.
I finished a book Prosey recommended, The Mommy Myth by Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels. Ay yi yi—that one was a doozy…
Now I am reading The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University by Kevin Roose. The book chronicles the experience of a Brown University sophomore who goes undercover at Liberty University. Liberty is in our backyard, so to speak, and I was especially interested in reading this book because there have been quite a few students from M’s school who choose to attend college there. The Big Popular Baptist Church encourages them to do so and field trips, retreats and camps with the youth group are regularly held on Liberty’s campus.
So far I am only 29% through, but I am struck by the changes in perspective Roose experiences as he becomes more and more submerged in the atmosphere of fundamentalism. Read what he says:
“But here’s the worrisome part: almost a month into my Liberty semester, I’m already starting to feel my beliefs shifting under my feet. Not my belief in evolution-I’ve stayed put on that-but when it comes to my general intellectual and emotional grounding, I’m feeling a little unmoored.”
I find this passage to be bone-chilling. Roose is obviously very intelligent: he is a student from one of the top university’s in the country, raised by liberal, nonreligious parents. He knows he’s there as an observant. But the culture of Liberty still affects him dramatically.
As atheist parents, are our children unprepared for the world? As a group (if you can call atheists that) it is my observation that we try to discourage the indoctrination of our children by presenting all sides and by encouraging critical thinking. But is this enough? Are we too tolerant? I wish there were more organizations –any organization– dedicated specifically to helping children navigate through the religious bullshit they encounter.
Brick Window 